Are you a Tiger?

    My body image post-baby is subpar to say the least.  So many things happen to your body in pregnancy that never quite return to normal.  My nails are stronger, my hair is curlier, and my belly is.. well... wobblier.  Once breastfeeding is finished I do not even know what my boobs are going to look like.  I am guessing something along the lines of a droopy sock.  Ever see a female dog that has nursed a litter? It's a scary sight.  But the dog isn't worrying about this crap.  She is protecting and raising her babies.  Why does it have to be so different for us?

Why is it so hard for us to embrace our new bodies?  Are they ugly and disfigured? Or are they a sign of strength and endurance?  Think about all of the things we had to endure as pregnant women, and then labour.  I am not just talking about the gross stuff like hemorrhoids and gas that could make my dog cry.  I am talking about carrying an extra 15lbs 24/7 for nine months on very little sleep.  I am talking about said baby emerging from your vagina after days of labour and hours of pushing your guts (literally) out.  I am talking about producing food for a mini human being.  These things are exhausting in more ways than running a marathon ever could be.  We work so hard, all of the screaming and crying.  Sometimes the baby cries too.  Often in the beginning you both have a good cry together.  We should be proud of our hard work.  Proud of how our bodies change to help us bring another life into this world.  I have never worked so hard at something in my life.  I should be proud of the new me, and I am trying to be.  It isn't always easy in todays society, but I try.

So yeah, I want to be healthier.  I want to be more physically active.  I want to eat healthier.  But I am not trying to erase what having a baby did to my body.  I just want to have more energy to enjoy raising my son.  I am a tiger, and I earned my stripes.  Nobody can ever take them away from me.

And the mother of the year award goes to.....

Not me thats for sure!

    I am not one to go running every time my baby makes a peep. I think it fosters an unhealthy dependence on others.  I don't want a whiny son.  Anyone that knows me, especially those I work with, know I cannot stand a whiny kid.  So even though my son is only 6 months old, I am starting young in teaching this.

   There are however, some times this whining may be appropriate.  Like on monday when I found him laying on the floor under his swing.  He had been in it enjoying the mobile last time I left him.  Hmm..... wonder what happened there.

   But this next picture is a better example of my 'training' cough negligence cough... I was cooking and he was whimpering.  I thought I would leave him until I was finished and eat with him and he would be fine.  Apparently he wasn't quite fine, yet not injured.  This is what I saw... and yes.. I stopped to take a picture!

Starting Solids

    Starting solids with your baby can be a very confusing time.  There is a lot of conflicting advice out there to weed through.  Everyone wants what is best for their baby and it can be frustrating that doctors do not agree what 'best' is.  Some say pablum first, then veggies, then fruits, blends, then meat.  Some doctors even go as far as sticking to one colour of food, keeping with each food for three days to check for allergies.  My doctor said no pablum and feed him what ever it is you are eating yourself.

 This sleeper went right in the wash!

 

    The age at which to start solids is another controversy.  Do you start pablum at 3 months in the evenings to help with sleep? Do you wait until 6 months? Does waiting increase or decrease the chances of developing allergies?  This is another thing doctors do not agree on.  I started right at 4 months because of my low milk supply.  Dr. Newman says that starting solids early is better than introducing formula, so thats what I did.  He also told me that pablum is too high in iron and isn't absorbed into the body well and to avoid it.  I didn't listen to him there.  Asher likes the taste and enjoys it so I give it to him mixed with prunes (yummy :s).

   So who do you listen to? Your doctor? Best friend? Mother? Grandma? I chose to take all the information in and listen to myself.  I know whats best for my baby.  He loves his food and is very happy while eating.  My problem is that he puts his hands to his mouth after every spoonful which creates a huge mess!

   Momstown Milton recently had a baby food exchange.  We all brought mass quantities of our favourite food and shared with the other moms.  It was nice to take home several types of baby foods and only prepare one.  Women should do that more often.  Every mom puts a lot of work into the purees because they want the same quality in return.  You know you are able to feed your baby something nutritious with the help of other moms.  Lets be honest its not just about the babies.  We got to sit and chat about all the questions I listed above while our babies drooled all over one another. 

   So good luck in starting solids ladies! I hope your experience goes a lot less messy than mine! 

I'm a smelly beast

Ever spend 20 minutes searching for the source of that awful smell, only to realize it is you?

Sadly, I did that twice this week. Once it was from the baby, and the other was just lack of proper hygiene. You see, now that my baby is getting older he likes to be entertained a lot more. If you have been following my blog you would know that totally ruins my "caged baby, happy mom" philosophy. I have to play with you now? Dammit. Now things are getting real yo. I have a baby who is on the move and wanting to play with someone. That someone is me.

So now we are well into solids, which changes the spit-up game... More specifically, smell. More of a ripe vomity smell to it now as opposed to the sour milk milder smell it used to have. That smell is what I found on my shoulder. I had been looking for a stench all evening and never thought to check my own shoulder. It was pretty gross. What's worse is I prioritized writing this blog over actually changing said shirt and eliminating the smell from my body.

Other thing I realized this week is that I need to shower more often. How often do you have to ask yourself when the last time you showered was? I do all too often. It's pretty awful. But I'd rather be smelly mom than be without my baby!

Funny Story

My chiropractor is a good man. He's trying to repair my sciatic nerve after carrying a baby. It's not an easy job since the damage is pretty severe. He's in Carlisle which is good because he's $20 cheaper per adjustment than my Toronto chiropractor.

I thought he was a level headed working family man until today. Today he went a little crazy on me. Picture this: you're laying face down on the chiropractors table, trying to relax. Your chiropractor is examining you pre-adjustment to see which bones need adjusting. As he moves his hands to the base of your neck he makes a sound that reminds me of a bird tweeting. Moves down further and starts barking. Moves down further and does his best horse impression. I'm starting to sweat at this point. What the hell is going on? Is he crazy? Is he trying to seduce me? As he moves his hands along my spine he continues to make different animal sounds. I thought at one point I should start singing old McDonald just to break the tension. When it was time to flip over my heart started racing. I'm going to have to look this psycho in the eye! So I turn to the side and I see it. I forgot all about it.

Asher was in the room in his car seat smiling away at the chiropractor. I forgot he was there with me. Which explains the animal noises.

I took a deep breath, wiped the sweat off my brow, and relaxed. I will live another day!

Fabriclaaaand FABRICLAND

Tell me their age old jingle won't be stuck in your head now all day after reading that title.  I wonder who came up with it?  Who do they have on their marketing team? I can imagine some team of men (obviously) sitting around a table trying to write a jingle for commercials.  Some guy says (and I hear him as Chris from Family Guy) why don't we just say the name twice, the second time we can say it quicker than the first to save on air time.  And they all cheer and bump chests.

Anyways back on topic.  I went to Fabricland determined to make a Taggie blanket and matching larger blanket for Asher.  I saw something similar at a store and didn't want to pay for something that seemed so simple.  Problem is, I haven't sewn since grade school Home Economics class and that was a looooong time ago.  I have also never bought fabric or thread or anything of the sort from a store.  So I walked into Fabricland feeling a little lost.  It was busy full of women and cute old ladies.  Don't let the grannies fool you though.  They mean sewing business.  I got a lot of mean stares and even a slight hip check from one as I was stumbling around the store.  I had never been there before cut me some slack!  Bitch puh-lease! So I gave them the finger behind their backs and continued shopping.

I felt so lost when I had actually found my fabric.  Where were the scissors? Do I cut it? Do they cut it? Do I tear it with my teeth?  Customer service was sub par if you ask me.  They should have caressed me like a little lost puppy when I walked through that door.  Alas, I had to come to my own defenses.  I put the fabric on the table.  Nobody came.  I unraveled it a little and looked around a bit making sure to make direct eye contact with a few staff members.  Nobody came.  So I reached my arm ever so slowly toward the scissors.  Nobody came.  Boy when my fingers touched ever so lightly those scissors all hell broke loose.  I had a staff member charge me from across the store, grab me around the waist and slam me down to the ground while screaming "WE DO THE CUTTING!!!!"  Ok.  Maybe not that scenario exactly but that's what it felt like. So a few minutes and a few tears later I had my fabric.

The sewing and pinning is another story altogether.  Pinning the two pieces of fabric together was difficult because one material was stretchier than the other.  I was sweating and bleeding everywhere.  I have never been filled with so much rage in my life.  It was hard nonetheless.  The sewing was a bit more serene.  I had help from my mother-in-law and a neighbour.  They laughed at how slow I went but I did it.  I did it.  I can say that my son LOVES his blankie and it already goes everywhere with him.  I did it!!!!

The tags are great for chewing during teething.

Om Nom Nom

Finished Product

Special Thanks to Mary Jane for finding the Giraffe print in Paris, Glenda and Theresa for helping me pin and sew, and Ashleen for finding some skinny giraffe ribbon for me!

To Ferber or not to Ferber?

That is a very important question! I started sleep training Asher this morning. With teeth on their way I have been getting no sleep! Any single twitch and he's awake so I end up sleeping in some akward position that leaves me crippled in the morning. So the time has come for our little one to sleep in his own bed.

I have very mixed feelings about this. I enjoy the ease of night time nursing in bed cuddled up with my little man. But it is seriously starting to interfere with my slumber. He is starting to take advantage of me and my boobies. Some nights he can nurse every two hours! Now the Newman Breastfeeding Lactation Consultants would say its natural and normal. That he is just checking in with me and wants to feel secure. But I have something else on my agenda... Sleeping more than two hours at a time!

So we begin. I am using a mix of advice that I feel is right for out family. Mainly derived from excerpts from "The Sleep Site". Their philosophy, which correlates with most sleep methods out there, states that a baby must learn to fall asleep on their own. To do this he must be placed in the crib sleepy but awake. This is going to be difficult because anytime you place Asher in his crib when he isn't dead asleep, he startles awake. And no nursing to sleep or soothers allowed!

So my method which allows the baby to be rocked to sleep as long as you put them down before they are conked out, may take a lot longer than the Ferber "cry it out" method. You spend less and less time each night rocking them to sleep until one night you put them right in without rocking them at all. They eventually learn to sleep on their own. This could take a couple weeks. The Ferber method could be done by Sunday if I had the emotional stability to let him cry. I think if he was older I would do it, but 4 months is just too young for a baby to be crying their heart out for comfort.

I am using a little bit of the Ferber method however. The sleep site says most parents respond too quickly in the night to their waking babies and often wake them up when they could be just stirring and going back to sleep on their own. So you are supposed to wait ten minutes before getting your baby unless they are really crying hard. This won't be easy when we share a room with his crib and he is less than a foot from my bed.

So if I seem a little off in the next little while please excuse my behaviors. I may seem cranky or in my own world. I may 'appear' intoxicated or confused. I may spew vulgar insults to children and the elderly. Just know that I don't mean most of it and let me be.

Small Things Amuse Beautiful Minds

    The last time I laughed so hard at something so little I was likely a little tipsy.  Oh to be a child again.  It's amazing how something so small can make a baby laugh.  Whether it be crinkly paper,  a funny noise, or a fake sneeze.  This doesn't make babies stupid, it makes them truly beautiful.  We often lose ourselves in the rush of life that we forget to stop and really look at the world.  So take a minute to watch this video and think about the little things in life that make you happy :)

Big Foot, Little Shoe

I had always heard that your shoe size can increase by .5-1 size from pregnancy. I thought it was all poppycock until I put my soccer cleats on for the first game of the season. When I was tightening them I was confused as to why my little shoelace bow was so tiny. Then I went to pass a ball. It really hurt my toes!

My shoe size has gone up at least half a size. This is nice because I get to buy new summer flats. This sucks because I have to pay for new summer flats. I did some research on the subject. What I thought was some lingering foot fatness from swelling in pregnancy, is actually bones shifting. The hormone in your body called "relaxin" that allows your hips to loosen in pregnancy/childbirth also loosens the ligaments in your feet. The bones then separate a bit and voila! Bigger feet! This change is permanent and no toe curls and ankle rolls will fix that. So go out and splurge on some new shoes! Tell your husband I said its okay. Okay?

Fascinating Facts

I saw this whiteboard in my Chiropractor's office. It got me thinking. I should sneeze more often. Maybe it would explain my lingering Baby Brain. Or maybe I'm having post-partum 1-second strokes. That's what my husband tells me anyways. Like a "Brain Fart" if you will.

I am constantly forgetting things, jumbling my words, or forgetting words in the English language altogether and somehow replacing them with other words that don't exist. Can baby brain linger? Maybe it has something to do with breastfeeding. I should call it boobie brain. That would work. "write it in underscore letters" was my latest boobie brain moment. Although there was wine involved in that incident.

What's your most akward boobie brain story?

The Dangers of Vaccinations

No, I'm not referring to autism because that's bullshit. I'm referring to projectile vomiting. Last night was another night Asher stayed in bed with us. He had his 4 month vaccinations Friday morning and was angry with life all night. I made sure to be diligent in loading up his tiny body with drugs through the day. However, in my sleepy stupor I forgot to give him some meds through the night. So up went his temperature and he was just a hot mess of fury.

About 7 this morning we woke up to him coughing. The coughing rapidly turned into projectile vomit. I tried to stop it with a small burp cloth. What was I thinking? A tiny cloth? Would a tiny cloth stop a tsunami of vomit? The answer is no. All I did was divert the fermented milk all over the bed. All over Ryan. And all over Asher.

Notice how I didn't say all over me? Haha it's funny how things work that way sometimes. Suckers.

Are you Co-Sleeping or just lazy?

       Lazy.  Yep. I'm incredibly lazy.  Don't get me wrong.  I don't think co-sleeping families are lazy.  I am just saying that the sole reason Ash ends up in our bed at some point in the middle of the night, is because I'm L.A.Z.Y.

L = Laying, specifically in bed, under my warm covers, until at least 7am.
A= Attitude, mine is severely impaired if I am tired.  Some may even say slightly delusional.
Z= Zebras, shut up.
Y= Yawning.  I have a severe problem with it if Im tired. Like my eyes water all day and my husband tries to throw things in my mouth.  He used to stick his finger in my mouth when I was yawning too much.  I bit it. That story is for another day.

      

        Dr. Sears and Dr. Newman have done tons of research on how co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS (something about breathing patterns synchronizing with the mothers so the likelihood of baby stopping breathing is reduced).  They also advocate it because it is incredibly natural and beautiful.  I think it can be kinda gross.  Asher is a sweaty, sweaty baby.  He has a bath every day because his head seriously stinks.  Wherever he sleeps, wether it be in his crib, your arms, or the bed, he turns into a furnace.  Every morning there is a long strip of sweat from where he was sleeping.  Which is awesome by the way, when you roll into it face first in the middle of the night.  I always roll into something gross.  Could be a sweat spot, drool, spit up, or my own leakage.  Gross.  I've tried shoving him to Ryan's side of our roomy double bed but it doesn't work.  He tends to drift towards the milk factory.

     So why the hell do I let him sleep with us? Take a look at that pie chart above.  See that orange piece of the pie? Sleep Deprivation? That's why!  I would personally switch sleep deprivation for unconditional love on the pie chart but don't tell Asher that.  When you have a baby that for the first month and a half woke up in the middle of the night gagging and turning blue due to thrush and swelling of his throat, you need to just survive somehow.  Asher was a very sick little boy.  Even though he is better now, I can't seem to bring myself to sleep train him.  He feeds frequently between 3am and 7am.  I tend to be sleeping during that time.  I would rather bring him into bed, roll over, flop out a boob (yes flop, some may even heave) and go back to sleep knowing that he will find it, eat, and go back to sleep himself.  My alternative isn't as easy.  I could feed him, rock him to sleep, put him crib, and repeat every 1.5-2 hours.

    So there.  I admitted it.  Think what you want, but this works for us.  I don't think he will be spoiled.  I don't think he will develop sleep issues.  I don't think he will develop attachment issues.  I couldn't do this long term mind you.  The second this little turd starts sleeping through the night he's in his crib full time.  I think its great those of you who by 3mos have their babies sleeping perfectly in their cribs only to wake for a feeding or two.  Good for you.  I also think its great those of you who choose to co-sleep for as long as your little one is willing.  Everyone feels secure, safe, and snuggly.  I see both sides to the debate on whether co-sleeping is good for a family or not.  Right now its good for us.

Caged Babies: Saving our Sanity

Only $5.99 at your General Store!

   

    My oh my how things have changed.  Its a shame they don't sell these anymore.  It is multifunctional too!  Comes with curtains for a breezy sleep nook! Remove the padding and no need for diapers or bibs! Oh how well people had it back then!  I'm kidding... I think I am anyways.  If it's not a window cage its something else.  A playpen, a gated room, a locked closet (wait what?).  These are all techniques us moms introduce to maintain our sanity.  Some nights (last night for me) we get very little sleep.  Our babies have their own schedule and for the first little while we follow it whether we like it or not.  Even if it means party time at 4am.  So to get that extra dose of morning caffeine, or even a little shut eye, we have to find little tricks to save our sanity.

Bars & Baby Einstein

   
          So many people talk about how important it is for human interaction and how couch potato children have poor health and social skills.  Those people had Nannies.  Yeah yeah I get it, I need to sing to my baby and stuff.  But I also need my sleep.  I need to shower.  I need to do laundry.  I need to eat.
And on a good day, I need to have a nice relaxing poop.  So sue me if I throw my baby in a crib and play a movie for him.  He gets some chill time and I get to have some privacy in the washroom.

Tummy Time with big cousin Cohen!

 This isn't the only time I use media as a babysitter by the way.  My baby hates tummy time.  He has hated Tummy Time since day 1.  I used to prop him up a little with a rolled up towel but he is now long past that.  Since he has figured out how to roll from tummy to his back Tummy Time has been an even bigger challenge.  He lasts about 10 second on his front until he decides to roll over.  This shouldn't be a big deal for most moms but it is for me.  He has some issues on one side of his neck and shoulders causing him to always turn to that side (another breastfeeding challenge).  This was likely caused by high forcep delivery when he was yanked from me in the most aggressive way possible.  His pediatrician said that more tummy time can help balance this out.  So how do I get him to stay on his tummy?  Baby Einstein of course!  I've tried throwing toys and books on the floor infront of him but he's just not interested yet.

            It is very important to have these methods or you end up doing stupid shit.  Take the picture below for example:

        This is our Diaper Genie.  Full of dirty diapers and last nights explosion perched on top.  The blue bag hangs down with that oh so important knot tied at the bottom.  Well guess what I forgot to do last time I changed the Diaper Genie.  Tie a freaking knot.  So this mess is what I blindly stuck my hand into this morning when I went to change the bag.  Delightful.  I was in such denial I called my husband and asked if he changed the bag last.  I was thinking I could not have done such a thing!  I did.  He hasn't ever changed it and doesn't even know how it opens.  I had to accept the facts: I'm an idiot.  Apparently I need to cage my baby more often.  A sane mom is a happy mom, and a happy mom has a happy baby!

Why do your nipples look like that?

        Why? Why you ask? From two months of thrush and a tongue tied baby B@#$%!!!!  I can't even begin to describe how difficult breastfeeding has been for me.  It has not been easy and still isn't.  It is very frustrating that my last 2.5 months of hell could have been prevented on day 1 in the hospital.  So mommies everywhere listen up! Any antibiotics given to you close to, during, or after labour require you to load up on Probiotics with at least 10 Billion active cells (i.e. the kind you get from a refrigerator at a health food store).  Then when you squeeeeeeze that little baby turd out, give HIM probiotics as well.  Let me tell you, thrush is no picnic and very difficult to get rid of!  And if your baby is tongue tied, get it clipped.  If not you can have milk supply issues, and the baby can have feeding and speech issues when he gets older.

I like this picture because she seems like the strict authoritarian type, 

but her eyes and sexy head tilt say she's a dirty dirty lady duck

       Well thats enough ranting about our health care system.  Today was our first Mother Goose group at Early Years.  Its where moms dress their babies up as uncomfortably as possible in jeans, sweaters, and cute little running shoes. We are there to sing songs and help kick start our babies' language learning.  I am not sure how and when it turned into a fashion show. But alas, I cant have the ugly duckling in class so I wake up early to dress him in the appropriate attire.  Usually the babies are busy watching other moms so you are sitting looking like an idiot singing Itsy bitsy spider to yourself.

Here's to feeling sexy! Or NOT!

     Why is it that when you have a baby their hygiene takes precedent? He is dressed to the nines and I'm wearing yoga pants and a sweater with barely brushed teeth and my husband's deodorant.  I also decided to try washable nursing pads today thinking maybe better airflow would help with my sore nipples.  It helped! Helped ruin my life!!! Ok maybe a slight exaggeration.  Nothing says motherhood like two large wetspots on your shirt infront of 15 women and 1 man that you have never met before.  The worst part is.. they all clearly knew before me.  They were sitting there thinking about it.  Wondering when I would notice. Pitying me.  In future ladies, don't silently pity me, just tell me my f-ing shirt is wet! Please and Thank You.  Also, another favour, when you see a mom with a young baby and sore nipples, come up with a better line than "Why do your nipples look like that?".   Why were you looking in the first place? Next time offer a sympathetic smile and mind your own damn nipples.

Brave New Mama starts Blog

Welcome!!

       If you are reading this you probably know me.  You will know that I had a baby boy in September and I have no idea what I'm doing.  You will notice that I likely have 0 subscribers.  So be a friend and pass this blog along to other Moms, Dads, Grandparents, Aunties, Uncles, and hell your local convenience store clerk.

Asher Kaze Smith

sandrahillphotography.com

      I am going to make this a quick entry because I can hear my offspring downstairs with his father and is likely hungry.  Unfortunately, or fortunately, (haven't decided yet) that has everything to do with me and my anatomy.  I spent the first 2 months of Mommyhood fighting off Thrush alongside my son.  This has left me with some mixed feelings towards breastfeeding.  But you know what they say! Breast is Best! Who is THEY anyways? Do THEY know how hard it is? I think the saying should go.. "Breast is good for baby but freaking difficult but you should probably do it anyways".  Yep that has a special zing to it.

     So follow my blog!  I will likely write about some funny things, some disgusting things, some emotional things, and likely some completely random things that have nothing to do with Motherhood.

Enjoy!

Sarah